It Was Always You
by AnotherPerson5
Summary: Wristcutters: A Love story, Eugene/Zia slash. Sequel of sorts to "It's a Life, Anyways" but can be read by itself. Songfic.


**A/N: I've been on a real fic kick lately for some reason, my muse is ecstatic.**

**A/N2: The song is "All I Want is You" by Barry Polisar  
**

_If I was a flower growing wild and free_

_All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee._

_And if I was a tree growing tall and green_

_All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves_

_~*~_

Zia doesn't really like camping…at all. When he was alive he was always more of a bonfire on the beach type person. He liked watching the reflection of sunsets in the water and digging his feet into the sand while the warm air filtered through his hair. Eugene hates that sort of thing though, he calls it "mushy bullshit" and takes Zia into the woods to teach him how to be a man. Zia stands off to the side while Eugene does all the work; sets up the tent so the sun doesn't get into his eyes, leaves and comes back smelling of smoke and honey, bee stings covering his arms.

"Good?"

"Well yeah," warm honey drips off the piece of bread Zia is bringing up to his mouth for the third time, "but 'Gene you didn't have to."

Eugene nods, "Tastes incredible doesn't it?"

Zia smiles with his eyes, "Yeah it does, thanks."

~*~

_All I want is you, will you be my bride_

_Take me by the hand and stand by my side_

_All I want is you, will you stay with me?_

_Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea._

_~*~_

Eugene touches his lip, red from where Zia's fist collided with it. He surges forward, shoving the younger man against the hotel door.

"You have nerve to come back and tell me _I_ don't care about anyone."

"Well that's because you don't. I mean who else besides your family, huh? Nanuk? Mikal? The girl from-?"

"You."

"-bar, what?"

Eugene shoves him, the fabric of Zia's shirt curling between his fingers, "Think I liked it? Having you disappear from nowhere. Just because I don't…get on knees and ask you to fucking marry me doesn't mean I don't love you like flesh and blood."

His grip relaxes until it's gone, until he's gone. Hands shoved into pockets, walking back towards the car. Zia should stay put, wait for him to cool off. He chases after him, wrapping his arms tight around the other mans' neck, pulling him back against him

"I'm sorry," he whispers when Eugene starts to wrench out of his grasp, pressing his lips to his ear and swaying in time to the musician's struggle "Alright?"

Eugene drives his elbow into Zia's stomach and keeps walking, "No. It isn't."

~*~

_If you were a river in the mountains tall,_

_The rumble of your water would be my call._

_If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow_

_Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow._

_~*~_

Zia's never really hitchhiked before and feels infinitely better about himself for saving Mikal from the insistent boredom of it. He readjusts his pack and keeps on the road winding through the mountains with only the bare necessities, picked up from the last pit stop. He sets up a crappy tent and sleeps on rocks and tries not to think of anything but staying warm. When he stops to take a piss, the river in front of him is partly frozen, warning of the onset of winter. It reminds him of Eugene because everything up here does. He remembers how he told him last winter that he'd never been in the snow and the rocker had taken him out back, nipping his way up Zia's neck and pressing him against a tree. Zia had groaned, felt Eugene's hands unzip his pants and rub the growing bulge as their breath materialized in the air between them. Zia had been five seconds away from begging for his own release. As he opened his mouth to make his plea Eugene had snatched a handful of snow and shoved it down Zia's pants before taking off in a sprint.

He finishes up when he hears the sound of a truck, sticking out his thumb and mouthing a prayer when it pulls over just ahead of him,

"Have you seen a red ford Taurus around here? Dark haired driver, mustache?"

The trucker nods, "'Bout five miles west. Might be headed towards Comets Falling. Just on the way if you're interested."

"Yeah." Zia nods, "Thanks man I appreciate it."

_~*~_

_If you were a wink, I'd be a nod_

_If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod._

_If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug_

_And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug_

~*~

When he walks in beside the trucker, smelling of cigarettes, dirt and river water Eugene drags him outside. For a minute they just nod and glare and communicate in three word sentences. Then Eugene rolls his eyes and Zia starts apologizing for everything

"Forget it. It's obvious you can't live without me. Hitchhiking with truckers what are you idiot? You can tell me I won't judge."

And Zia doesn't argue. He realizes that all the insults Eugene makes is how he shows he cares, how he situates himself into Zia's life by insisting he couldn't get along without him; that Zia needs someone to shield him, to envelope him and protect him from the world as much as possible even if it is like putting a rug on a forest floor.

~*~

_f you were the wood, I'd be the fire._

_If you were the love, I'd be the desire._

_If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,_

_And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float._

_~*~_

A year later Zia convinces Kostya and Eugene to travel to the coast with him and camp out on the beach. Even if the sunset is gray and dull and the waves are flat. Eugene agrees.

Kostya flirts with a stoned surfer building a sand castle and Eugene glares at them while handing wood to Zia who is feeding the bonfire. Zia lets him growl and grunt for a few minutes before tackling him and shoving sand down his pants, bolting towards the ocean as soon as Eugene regains his bearings. Zia tugs his shirt off and dives into the water but Eugene pauses, the foam barely brushing his feet

"What is it?"

"I'm not getting in there." He crosses his arms

"Oh come one, you don't even have to swim." Eugene bites on his tongue not moving an inch, "Come on, Eugene, I mean I learned to be some like frozen tundra amazon. The least you can do is learn to back float."

When Eugene still doesn't budge Zia shifts a little farther back and wriggles out of his wet board shorts, rearing back his arm and tossing them to land at Eugene's feet.

Less than a minute later the rocker is at his side. Zia pulls him close, licking salty water off his lips and tangling his fingers in his hair,

"So you gonna teach me or what?"

"Nah," Zia shrugs, holding him still against the waves, "All I wanted was you."


End file.
